Pride and Prejudice as summarized by Caleb, Part 4

When we last left our heroes they had just been attacked by a hoard of microbots and they had only barely escaped with their lives...

"I am not fast."

Oh oops. Wrong storyline. (sorry I just watched Big Hero 6 :P)

Anyway, picking up where we left off in Pride and Prejudice, Elizabeth is still getting over the shock of Darcy's proposal. Only the next day she is out walking when he hands her a letter he wrote the night after his failed proposal.

Right now I think he wishes e-mail existed - or at least some alternative to a quill pen...

Elizabeth reads the letter and discovers the true story of Darcy's actions...

Wickham, it turns out, was not interested in a "living," and due to his frivolous lifestyle Darcy wasn't inclined to give it to him. Finally, Wickham attempted to elope with Georgina, Darcy's beloved little sister whom he is fiercely protective of.

Darcy caught them at the last second, thankfully, and no damage was done, but there was no way Wickham would be getting his living now. 

As for Jane and Bingley, Darcy observed that Jane didn't show much affection towards Bingley (what Darcy doesn't know is that Jane usually hides such feelings). The main reason he separated them, though, was that the sisters' family behaved rather inappropriately at the Netherfield ball.

Armed with this information, Elizabeth comes back home, unsure of what to do next or how much to tell the locals. Soon after, Lydia goes to Brighton to stay with the officers, and Elizabeth gets the break she needs, traveling with her aunt and uncle Mr. and Mrs. Gardener, a pleasant couple from London, up into the north country. 

It's rather hard to believe that Mr. Gardiner is actually Mrs. Bennet's younger brother, the difference between them is striking.

They travel to a town near Pemberley, Darcy's estate. Mrs. Gardiner suggests that they go for a tour of the place, and Elizabeth accepts - once she learns Darcy is out of town.

"That could've been mine..."

They are shown around the house and the housekeeper tells Elizabeth that the Darcy she knows was nothing like the one Elizabeth knew. 

What surprises Elizabeth even more is when Darcy suddenly shows up as they're exiting the house.

"And...how is your family?" (he repeats this like 2 or 3 times)

Although Mr. Darcy is rather awkward at first while getting over the surprise of Elizabeth's appearance, once he's past that he's surprisingly nice. Mr. and Mrs. Gardener find him a pleasant man, and they begin to notice that Elizabeth and Darcy seem to maybe like each other.

Darcy comes to call shortly afterward at the inn where Elizabeth is staying, and he brings Bingley with him. Bingley is, thankfully, still interested in Jane, and Darcy ends up inviting Elizabeth and the Gardeners to Pemberley for dinner, where Elizabeth gets to meet Darcy's sister, Georgiana.

(this is from the 2005 movie but I liked this scene...in the book and in the 1995 version Georgiana is much more timid)

While at the inn soon after this, Elizabeth gets a letter from her sister Jane and hears the dreadful news: Lydia has run off with Wickham, and their whereabouts are unknown. Darcy shows up just after she reads this, and leaves quickly after he hears the news. Elizabeth thinks he has given up on her because of the disgrace this has brought to her family, and quickly finds her aunt and uncle and comes home as soon as she can.

One more post should finish this up, that will be coming soon!

(insert title here)

Uh oh, it's Friday the 13th!!! 

(more P+P coming tomorrow, this post would've been part 4 but I'm going to go see a musical.)

Pride and Prejudice as Summarized by Caleb, Part 3

This post goes out to a certain cute (and very small) individual who had us all scared last night :( But you made it through okay so here's a puppy for you:

Okay anyway now that I'm breathing again I might as well continue where I left off in Pride and Prejudice. I would like to thank another unnamed individual for her wonderful feedback last night - more Mr. Collins it is, then.

So Mr. Collins ends up sneaking off to Lucas Lodge, the neighbors' house, and proposing to Elizabeth's friend Charlotte. Charlotte, who has a very practical view of marriage and will marry basically anyone who proposes to her, accepts his offer. Elizabeth is shocked.

"Engaged to Mr. Collins?! Impossible!"

After Mr. Collins and Charlotte leave, word arrives that Bingley and Darcy are leaving Netherfield. Jane goes to stay with her aunt and uncle in London; though she knows that Bingley is in London, she tells Elizabeth in her letters that Bingley has never once called on her, making both sisters wonder if he's really serious about her. 

The following spring, Elizabeth goes to stay with Charlotte and Mr. Collins for awhile. Mr. Collins eagerly shows off his new Living, given to him by the honorable Lady Catherine de Bourgh. He takes a lot of time - not to mention a lot of words - to show Elizabeth around his new house, to which Charlotte is just like:

*patient blank stare*

Soon Elizabeth is able to actually go to Rosings (the local estate) and meet Lady Catherine de Bourgh herself. Said lady ends up being rather haughty and Elizabeth is the only one in the party who stands up to her.

Needless to say, Lade Catherine is shocked by her impertinence.

Soon, surprisingly, Mr. Darcy and his cousin Colonel Fitzwilliam come to stay at Rosings. Colonel Fitzwilliam reveals to Elizabeth that Darcy broke up Bingley and Jane's relationship because (he thought) Jane didn't care much for Bingley.

Meanwhile, Darcy and Elizabeth cross paths frequently until, one day, to Elizabeth's immense astonishment, Mr. Darcy proposes to her.

you know I just noticed the wallpaper seems to warp as he moves. Does he secretly have telekinetic powers?!

Also I'm writing this while listening to Capital Kings, so basically every gif I look at seems to be dancing. try it sometime, it's fun.

Elizabeth turns the proposal down vehemently, listing Darcy's behavior towards Wickham - and her sister - as examples of why he is a terrible person. 

That's all for now but part 4 will not be long in coming!

Pride and Prejudice As Summarized by Caleb, Part 2

This post is dedicated to two certain unnamed individuals - one of whom has been asking for a unnamed shout-out since post 1, the other of whom gave me some *ahem* amazing feedback on my last post which prompted me to write this one.

Anyway, we're continuing our series on Pride and Prejudice (this being the royal "we.") To catch you up on what has happened so far:

to continue:

There are two new arrivals in town shortly after this. First, a regiment of officers takes up residence in town; second, Mr. Bennet's cousin Mr. Collins comes to stay at the Bennets' estate. Mr. Collins is a long-winded clergyman who ends up providing a lot of the story's comic relief. Since Mr. Bennet has no male heirs, Mr. Collins is to inherit the Bennets' estate when Mr. Bennet dies. While Mr. Collins is visiting the Bennets, therefore, he praises everything with his usually excessive verbosity. 

(this is from the movie version of P+P made in 2005; I just saw it, it isn't as good as the 1995 TV series but they have a great Mr. Collins).

Though he isn't in possession of a considerable fortune, he is still in want of a wife...his first choice is Jane, but when he finds out she's already in love with Bingley, Elizabeth suddenly and mysteriously becomes the sole object of his affection. 

Mr. Collins: This room is magnificent.

Mr. Collins: And the potatoes are beyond words, a recipe no doubt given to you by my most honorable patroness, Lady Catherine de Bourgh!

(Said Lady gave him his Living as a Clergyman, and he has been obsessively grateful ever since).

Elizabeth: #tryingheardnottolaugh

One day Kitty and Lydia go into town to flirt with the numerous officers there. One of these officers is George Wickham, a young man who explains to Elizabeth that he knew Mr. Darcy since they were both children, and that Mr. Darcy has robbed him of the Living (position as a Clergyman and the house that goes with that) that he should have had. 

The more you look at him the creepier he looks.

Elizabeth is taken in by his story, and begins to think more poorly of Mr. Darcy than she already had. 

Soon after this, there is a ball at Netherfield, which Wickham is strangely unable to attend. Elizabeth ends up dancing with Darcy, but after that her whole family starts embarrassing her...

Kitty and Lydia are flirting with all the officers...

...Mary plays rather tasteless songs on the piano until her father gets up and stops her in the middle of a song...

...Mrs. Bennet tells everyone about how Jane and Bingley are surely going to get married...

...and Mr. Collins talks all the time, even going up to Mr. Darcy and introducing himself even though he is of an inferior class.

This picture is from the 2005 version of Pride and Prejudice, but it captures the scene quite well. Mr. Darcy is the tall guy in the center, who has just turned around to glare coldly at Mr. Collins standing next to him.

Some days later Mr. Collins attempts to propose to Elizabeth, but she turns him down. Mr. Collins interprets this as her playing hard to get, and he attempts to propose several more times.

Mr. Colins' head on a penguin - my life has been made.

This is one of many examples of Austen using humor to advance the story. I just did an essay on this in fact, it's rather interesting when you think about it.

But anyway, Mrs. Bennet is shocked when she hears that Elizabeth has turned down Mr. Collins' offer.

"WHAT EVEN?!"

Mr. Bennet, however is fully supportive of Elizabeth's decision not to marry Mr. Collins. He gives her a choice - not marry Mr. Collins and have her mother never speak to her, or marry Mr. Collins and have him never speak to her. 

Mrs. Bennet does not take well to this.

"...smelling salts!"

More to follow later, I'm tired...goodbye for now!

Pride and Prejudice As Summarized by Caleb, Part 1

so on Tuesday I finally finished reading Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice for school. It was a fun read, if a little long-winded at times, and I thoroughly enjoyed Austen's various and eclectic characters. As I read, I watched portions of the 1995 TV series based on the show (I hope to watch the 2005 movie soon). It ended up being one of the very few romance-centric stories I have enjoyed :P

Anyway, now that I've finished, I'm going to try to retell the story in one or two posts, illustrated with memes.

The story centers on Elizabeth Bennet, a young woman living in the English countryside with her father, her mother, and her sisters. She's clever and witty, and a particular favorite of her father.

Jennifer Ehle as Elizabeth Bennet (all character pictures are from the 1995 mini-series)

Her sisters are as such:

Jane, the eldest. Calm, sensible, and kind; she finds it very hard to think poorly of anyone.

Mary, the puritan. Enjoys reading and playing music, though her taste in music is...not the greatest. Prefers a good sermon over a ball.

Kitty (right) and Lydia (left); the two youngest girls who are rather frivolous and flirty. Though Lydia is younger, Kitty generally follows Lydia's example.

Here's another one of Lydia:

(I could decide what to caption this so I put all three of my options):

"I'm so shocked I can't even!"

"Oh no. Oh....no."

"I MUST have that bonnet!"

Mr. and Mrs. Bennet are basically polar opposites of each other. Mrs. Bennet...has no filter. Either it's the best day ever or the world is ending.

"Have you no compassion on my poor nerves?!"

And meanwhile Mr. Bennet is like...

Anyway, the story begins with this line: "It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife."

Yeah, I know, they used a lot of, unnecessary commas back in 1799 when the book was written, as well as when it was published, in 1813.

(BTW Austen was only 21 when she first wrote her novel, so there's hope for me...in only few years I could be writing a world-renowned classic).

It is also a truth universally acknowledged among teenagers that cheesy pickup lines seldom do any good.

Anyway, moving on from spoofing the first sentence (which I could go into a lot more, but I won't), in the first chapter we are introduced to Mr. and Mrs. Bennet. Mrs. Bennet tells Mr. Bennet excitedly of the arrival in the region of a rich young (and unmarried) gentleman named Mr. Charles Bingley. When Mr. Bennet declines her suggestion of calling on the gentleman, Mrs. Bennet starts to complain rather excessively.

Soon, however, Mr. Bennet changes his mind and calls on Bingley. 

Bingley - very easygoing friendly guy; it's a miracle he ended up like this considering the characters of his sisters...

Bingley then goes into "town" (London), coming back with his two sisters (Ms. Caroline Bingley and Mrs. Hurst), as well as his friend Mr. Fitzwilliam Darcy. They then attend a "public assembly" (a ball), where Bingley quickly comes off as a friendly, good-natured fellow, and where Darcy quickly gets the reputation of being stuck-up and proud. Jane and Bingley dance multiple times, but Darcy doesn't dance once.

Elizabeth overhears the two gentlemen talking - Bingley suggests that Darcy dance with Elizabeth, but Darcy refuses, saying that Elizabeth is tolerable, but not pretty enough to tempt him. 

Soon, however, Darcy starts to think differently of Elizabeth, remarking to Bingley that she has fine eyes - to the immense disapproval of Bingley's snobbish sister, Caroline.

"I am not amused."

Unseen Musical Instruments Revealed!

Hi again.

First of all, I know this was so last week, but...it was blue and black, not white and gold. And it was rather ugly in my opinion.

Anyway, after the craziness of yesterday's last post I've decided to write something a little more refined, educational, and edifying. That said, I was trying to go for a post title similar to the sorts of things you see in internet ads - Like, "He found WHAT in his backyard?!" with a really grainy picture that upon further investigation turns out to be some kind of tree branch or something boring like that.

Anyway in this post I'm going to introduce you to some cool musical instruments which you probably haven't heard of before.

Starting off, this here is called the Balalaika:

The Balalaika is a traditional instrument from Russia; it is triangular-shaped and usually has three strings. I have one about the size of a mandolin, but it can be a lot bigger than that:

In Russia there are a lot of balalaika orchestras, here's a pic of one and a sample of what traditional balalaika music sounds like.

I've never learned any Russian music on my balalaika, I just play original compositions and songs I already know. Here's my cover of Ten Thousand Reasons by Matt Redman.

Next up we have the Daxophone. This instrument was created by the late Hans Reichel, and looks something like this:

You play it like this:

1. Insert one of countless wooden "tongues" into the stand, which contains a microphone. Each "tongue" is about the length of a ruler.

maybe not quite a thousand tongues, but...Charles Wesley anyone?

2. Pluck or bow the ruler while moving a wedge-shaped block (seen below) up and down the "tongue."

The results are different every time - Reichel managed to produce sounds ranging from exotic percussion to distorted human screams, grunts, and even the occasional "Hi!"

Enjoy this cut from his album Yuxo:

Thirdly we have the Taishokoto, or as I like to call it, the mutant Japanese typewriter infused with autoharp DNA. I found one of these babies in the music shop where I got my Balalaika, and I would've bought it too, but these things cost a lot of money.

Anyway basically you strum the strings while holding down the keys to get different pitches, like so:

Not sure quite what all you can do with it, but it's still kind of a fun toy.

Next up we have...violins, violas, cellos, and guitars. Boring, right? Wait until you see what they look like...

These were all created by musician and artist Ken Butler, and you can see him playing some of them (including a golf club) here:

Another odd instrument out there is the Gravikord, based off of a traditional African instrument known as the Kora, and designed by Bob Grawi.

A Kora

A Gravikord (with an...interesting slogan)

The Gravikord sounds really cool when played well, and I'm a little surprised that it hasn't caught on much. Maybe Avicii or someone else famous should use one in a song to get some publicity for the poor thing.

Here's a song played on Gravikord by inventor Bob Grawi:

Next we have what is reputably the world's largest musical instrument - the Great Stalacpipe Organ. Found in Luray Caverns in Virginia, the instrument consists of a normal pipe organ keyboard, but instead of playing pipes it controls tiny hammers positioned throughout the cavern which tap on stalactites, each tuned to a specific pitch. It sounds a bit like a giant marimba with a lot of reverb.

If I ever sat down at that thing's keyboard, I would probably play this song:

As uncanny as it sounds, this beast actually exists. And it sounds cool too.

Beethoven anyone?

Finally, we come now to one of my favorite rare and unusual instruments known as the Car Horn Organ, a whacky sound sculpture made by Wendy Mae Chambers. Using this instrument, a player sitting at a keyboard can play car horns, one for every pitch. Wendy searched through countless junkyards to find car horns that could play every pitch she wanted, and her efforts payed off. 

To conclude this post, here's a beautifully patriotic number played on said instrument. Ladies and gentlemen, please remove your hats, and don't forget to subscribe for more weird posts like this one...